Help Us Send U.S. Constitution Toilet Paper to America’s Leaders

We’re going to send 4 rolls of U.S. Constitution Toilet Paper to all 435 U.S. Representatives and all 100 U.S. Senators, as well as all living Presidents and Vice Presidents, every living U.S. Supreme Court Justice, every current Federal Reserve Governor, and every living Federal Reserve Chairperson—if we can fully fund Constitution TP on Kickstarter. This is more than 2,250 rolls of U.S. Constitution Toilet Paper mailed to America’s “leaders”! To make this possible, we need the media to help spread the word about U.S. Constitution Toilet Paper.

How Can I Help Wipe Out Corruption?

Tell your audiences about U.S. Constitution Toilet Paper! A Press Kit and Fact Sheet can be accessed by clicking the images below. You can also join our media e-mail list, receive The Daily Wipe, and pass the information it contains along to your audiences. A mention on Bitboard is always appreciated.

Press Kit
U.S._Constitution_Toilet_Paper_Press_Kit_200 6.1 MB PDF

Fact Sheet
U.S._Constitution_Toilet_Paper_Fact_Sheet_200 2.8 MB PDF

Additional information about U.S. Constitution Toilet Paper is available on the Home Page of constitutiontp.com and at the Constitution TP Kickstarter Page.

What's In It For Me and My Audience?

  • Free Rolls of U.S. Constitution TP

    Free Rolls of U.S. Constitution TP

    The first 1,000 U.S. media outlets which join our mailing list get 2 free rolls of Constitution TP—if we reach our Kickstarter funding goal.

  • The Daily Wipe

    The Daily Wipe

    Receive fascinating facts about political corruption as Independence Day 2015 approaches. These include daily questions about the Founders which you can read on air or publish.

  • Enthralling Interviews

    Enthralling Interviews

    The creator of U.S. Constitution Toilet Paper is available to discuss his creation, as well as solutions to America’s political problems.

  • Send A Message To Our

    Send A Message To Our

    The satisfaction of helping send an unforgettable message to our “leaders.”

  • Insider Access to The TP Mailing

    Insider Access to The TP Mailing

    Access to a secure website which provides verification of the mailing to "leaders."

  • A Cool-As-Hell Patriotic Product

    A Cool-As-Hell Patriotic Product

    A one-of-a-kind creation that will be a conversation starter for years!

About the Free Rolls

We will provide free rolls of Constitution TP to the first 1,000 U.S. media outlets which join our mailing list and place a U.S. Constitution TP link or article on their website. Constitution TP is expensive to make, and is heavy and therefore costly to mail. We would love to send each media outlet a dozen rolls, but 2 or 4 is the best we can manage. Two rolls will provide one keepsake which you can display in your office, and one roll that you can give away to your audience—if we reach our Kickstarter funding goal. To join our e-mail list, simply enter your e-mail on the form at the top or bottom of this page.

About The Daily Wipe

The Daily Wipe will be e-mailed beginning June 22nd, every day until July 6th. A brief update about the status of our Kickstarter funding goals will also be included. The crux of Daily Wipes will be how the principles that our Founders championed can help solve America’s current problems, preventing defilement of the Constitution and restoring its integrity. Some truly horrifying and fascinating facts about political corruption will also be included, as will some extremely resonant quotes by Founding Fathers and modern leaders.

Booking The Creator of Constitution TP

The creator of Constitution TP has experience on everything from high-energy morning shows to serious talk radio, and will entertain your audience by intermixing humorous discussions of Constitution TP with oft-forgotten facts about what the Founding Fathers intended. The creator of U.S. Constitution Toilet Paper can be booked using the Contact Page.

About the VIP Access

All media outlets who join the mailing list will receive updates about the mailing of U.S. Constitution TP to “leaders,” as well as access to a secure website which provides independent verification of that mailing—assuming we can fully fund this Project on Kickstarter. On the secure website, a list of all “leaders” receiving U.S. Constitution TP will be shown, as well as the number of rolls mailed to each “leader,” and the tracking number for each mailing. Thus there will be total transparency and everyone will be able to verify that the promised number of rolls have been mailed.

What is the Kickstarter Funding Goal?

The stretch goal on Kickstarter is $1,000,000. If this is reached, 4 rolls of U.S. Constitution Toilet Paper will be mailed to all the leaders listed above, as well as the first 1,000 media outlets to join our mailing list. If $2,000,000 is raised, we will mail 4 rolls to media outlets rather than 2 rolls, and will mail them to the first 5,000 media outlets that join the mailing list rather than just the first 1,000.

One roll of U.S. Constitution TP costs $20 on Kickstarter, including shipping anywhere in America. Ten rolls of U.S. Constitution TP cost $100, including shipping anywhere in America. Thus 50,000 people would have to buy one roll to reach the $1,000,000 funding goal, and 10,000 people would have to buy ten rolls to reach the $1,000,000 funding goal. Two rolls are also available for $30, four rolls for $50, and 8 rolls for $90.

Adding Leaders to the Mailing List

Certain Pledges on Kickstarter allow backers to add “leaders” to the mailing list, or to have additional rolls of toilet paper mailed to a specific “leader.” Thus if a person wants to have Oliver North, Eric Holder, or Jack Abramoff added to the mailing list and receive U.S. Constitution TP, they can do so. If hundreds or thousands of people bought additional rolls for a “leader,” a pallet of U.S. Constitution TP might be delivered to extremely corrupt “leaders”! If many media outlets give U.S. Constitution TP traction, a massive number of rolls could be mailed to a huge number of “leaders”!

Thanks For Your Help!

E Pluribus Unum!